I had some creepy experiences, feeling I was watched, noticing something out of the corner of my eye, little things like that, when I was a child. I could have lived with that. Most people have those feelings now and then. More often when you watch something spooky on TV or read something creepy.
But, one afternoon, I very strongly felt something sinister. I’d use the word evil but that word has become so overused it can’t really be taken seriously any more. However, that day I didn’t see anything, it was all feelings, something I sensed. I was actually afraid and didn’t know what to do. I left the room but the sense of something awful and overwhelming didn’t go away. It didn’t follow me but it was there, strongly. I’ve never felt the same about the idea of devils, hell, and all of that since then. Although I don’t believe in hell and demons as being the opposing side of angels and god as the Christian view. I do believe there is an element I’d call demons for lack of a better word.
Does it have influence over people or do we make our own decisions? I still think we make our own decisions, we are responsible for our actions and our thoughts. Our thoughts being our own until we choose to (or not to) take action.
Anyway, the experience very much frightened me. This happened before I knew anything about Pagans, witches (other than the media and Halloween versions). I had read interesting newspaper clippings about the paranormal. Usually things that were interesting. I have never liked horror for the sake of horror, being afraid of some man-made monster. Real monsters are far scarier, and real enough.
My Grandmother talked about seeing ghosts and having creepy things happen. It wasn’t that I had asked her anything about it. She just talked about it one day while visiting over one or another family holiday. She saw her sister, who was recently deceased when they were young women. That didn’t scare her but other appearances and feelings did. At some point a psychic told her she had to tell them (ghosts/spirits) to leave her alone, and mean it. She had to say it out loud. After doing that she was not bothered any more.
Maybe it was her own determination not to be scared or maybe this did work to stop whatever influences were there. She did have a visit from my Grandfather, much later in her life, but that was the last and only time she had more encounters or creepy feelings.
So, I thought about it myself. I realized some of the spirits could be in need of help, lonely, whatever. But, others could be threatening, who knows why they are there or hanging around. My own worst experience wasn’t one I wanted to repeat. So I decided to do the same.
In my room, by myself, I said I did not want to see or have ghosts around me. I don’t remember the exact words I used or if I repeated it several times. I did only do it once, one evening. It worked. That was when I was about 10 years old. I’m 57 now and have not had any more creepy experiences. Not including times I watched or read something scary and creeped myself out.
Sometimes I watch the popular TV programs about ghosts, hauntings, and psychics. I take them with many grains of salt. I don’t believe in most of that, it is too easy to fake and too much of a marketing, money making scheme for many. Also, feelings are easy to spread. It just takes one person to say they felt a cold draft, feel something creepy, act afraid and everyone begins to feel something, or think they should be feeling something and then decide they are. Orbs of light, a whisper that might be a voice, a door moves or shuts… those are too easily explained by ordinary things or out right faked.
It’s very hard to prove ghosts, spirits and hauntings. I don’t disbelieve all of it, but I very much doubt most of it. However, having my own experience, which I did not turn into a TV show, I do know some of it is real.